EAP Offers Tips on Talking with Your Family About Workplace Changes

April is "National EAP Awareness Month."


This year will be one of many changes for our organization and its employees.  Every situation is different, but it would be normal for you to be anxious when change at work affects your family.  The Employee Assistance Program (EAP) offers some suggestions to consider when talking with your spouse/partner and children.

If you are not already talking about the changes, consider reaching out to your family members and discussing what is happening.  Share your feelings about the situation and make an effort to explore the anxiety of change.  It can be lonely and difficult to suppress your concerns.  At times, feelings not shared and “held in” can surface in other ways that can be hurtful and difficult – anger, impatience, depression, nightmares, etc.  Talking openly with someone who cares and understands can be a great relief.

It is normal to have a full range of reactions (thinking, feeling and doing) when experiencing stress.  When significant change occurs, there is no one “right” or “normal” way to react.  It can be very helpful to work together and try to help each other manage stress, make good decisions, and find safe and healthy ways to cope.

Difficult times can have varying effects: you may become closer, it may create strain, change can generate or surface conflict, or it may have little effect on your relationship.  You can influence how change affects your relationships by the way you choose to address the effected members.

Provide honest answers to questions and talk with your family members in a timely manner.  Be honest and direct.  If you don’t know an answer to a question – say so.  If the question is answerable and getting the answer would help you and your family members, find time to get the answer.

Children often hear parts of discussions between you and your spouse/partner.  Make sure they get the whole (and true) story.  Children can also be sensitive to your unspoken cues about the anxiety or anger that you may be experiencing.  It is always best for children to get information directly from their parents, rather than trusting what they think they hear.  Children tend to create their own stories or versions of what is happening and their perceptions may be worse than reality.  Lack of accurate information and not allowing them to talk discuss the change may heighten the fear and misunderstanding.

Offer all the realistic reassurance that you can.  Help your child keep his or her concerns in the proper perspective. 

Continue to encourage your children to talk with you, ask questions, and to let you know how they are feeling.  Children need to feel they are part of the solution. If finances are a concern, taking a cut in allowance, deferring expensive purchases, or getting an after-school job can make them feel as if they are part of your financial management strategy.

Offer physical and emotional reassurance. Give your child a hug.  Let them know you are in control.

EAP has information and resources that can help you and your family better understand and cope with the normal reactions and relationship concerns, which can often happen when one or more parent is dealing with change and uncertainty at work.